EPOV of Chapter#11

The people have spoken! And this is the next outtake you wanted to read. I am working on the others as well so be patient please.---

"I am seriously worried about you, Edward."

I looked up at my cousin, trying to look as innocent as possible. He didn't need to know I was completely whipped.

We'd been raking leaves and trimming rose bushes all morning because Alice banished us from the house until yard work was done. What was I worrying about? If anyone could understand being whipped it was my little cousin. It was almost sad.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, unable to wipe the grin from my face.

"I'm talking about you whistling and singing under your breath all morning like stink'n Mr. Rogers," he accused. "Yard work is not that fun, man."

He leaned on the rake handle, studying me intently for a second. Would it be wrong of me to kick it out from under him?

"Are you on crack?" He asked finally.

I returned to raking the lawn.

"Yep," I said, un-bothered. "Are you going to turn me in?" I looked up at him warily. "Because if you do you know I'll have to kill you."

He rolled his eyes.

"What is up with you?" He asked again. "Tell your cousin all about it."

I repressed my smile.

"It's nothing." I shrugged, not wanting to look like a chump by admitting my mood had been drastically altered by a girl saying she'd go out with me. We hadn't even kissed. I shouldn't be this happy about just the idea of being with her but I was, snarky comments and all.



Jasper huffed, annoyed that I wasn't willing to spill my guts to him. Some times he was such a little girl.

We worked in silence for the next twenty minutes and I made sure to keep the whistling to a minimum. To be truthful I hadn't realized I was whistling and I could see his point. I would think I was on crack too.

"Very good, gentlemen," Alice gave her approval from the sliding glass doors. "Now can we talk about the wedding?"

Jasper looked like he was in pain but I was not going to stick around and help him with this one. I'd had to hear all about the wedding since the moment I arrived. I hadn't even known so much went into a wedding. What did it matter what colors the napkins were? People were going to wipe their mouth with them. End of story.

"I'll get out of your hair so you two can talk," I said, leaning my rake against the house.


Alice smiled at me sweetly.


"You don't have to leave, Edward," She assured me. "You can give me your opinion too."


I leaned over and kissed her cheek.


"Thanks, Ali," I said. "But actually I've got tons of errands I need to do."


Jasper sent me a death glare as he walked up to her, knowing he was going to spend the rest of the morning being tutored with wedding details and I shrugged.


"That's odd," Jasper said, slinging his arm over Alice's shoulder. "You didn't say anything about errands."


I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Must have forgotten to mention it."


He narrowed his eyes at me. Tough luck, buddy. He may be my cousin but he was the one who put a ring on her finger, he could help her plan the wedding.


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The town of Forks was nothing like Chicago. It was minuscule. There was one little street going right down the middle of 'down town.'

...Turns out that street was down town. I peaked into a few of the stores and when I found nothing else to amuse myself with I decided to count how many steps it took to walk down this striving metropolis.


I was on eighteen when I looked to my left casually and caught sight of a very familiar girl. It was her.

She was sitting in what looked to be a coffee shop, smirking at someone as she talked. No big surprises there. She was leaning back in her seat, the picture of ease. Her long brown hair was piled on top of her head and she was wearing a fitted blue tee shirt with some graphic design emblazoned on her chest. She looked beautiful.


It wasn't until she laughed that I even thought to look at the person she was with. There was a very big man fanning himself next to her.

I don't know what came over me. One second I was in awe of the fiery beauty sitting in front of me and the next I was seething because that guy could make her laugh. What was that? Nothing usually bothered me, with a few exceptions. But I was most definitely bothered now.


At some point I realized I looked like an imbecile standing here, staring in at her so I decided to go in. I might as well say hi.


Something tells me she wouldn't want me to come say hello but for some odd reason that just made it even more appealing. It had been almost thirteen hours since I had seen the fire that burns in her eyes when she threatens my life. Besides, I felt the need to make myself known to the guy sitting next to her.


I stuffed my hands in my pockets, striving to look casual as if I hadn't just been standing outside debating with myself moments before, and walked up to their table.

"Bella?"

She glanced up, looking panicked. Is she okay? Seriously, her eyes were so wide you'd think Pluto the dog walked up to her, asking about Mikey's whereabouts.

Her hand was on the guys arm and as hard as I tried I couldn't stop my eyes from landing there. I had never felt the need for physical violence before. I'm not usually a short-tempered guy. Why make a big deal out of the little things I always think. But this didn't seem like a little thing. And I definitely felt a temper coming out. I wanted to rip this guys arm off.


"Hey, Edward," She greeted, brushing off whatever had her freaked out before. She removed her hand from his arm as if she could read my mind and I let out a silent sigh of relief.

I saw her eyes sweep over me quickly and I figured, well if she can why can't I?

It turns out the blue tee shirt was stamped with a dancing banana of all things and I almost chuckled aloud. That was Bella for you. The shirt was also tighter than I'd previously seen her wear and that's what actually stopped the chuckle. It died pretty fast in my throat as I saw red bra straps sticking out, just barely visible. God have mercy.

"Just because you admit to the stalking doesn't mean you can continue unabashed you know," She broke me out of my haze of lust.

I smirked, deciding to send a message to the guy sitting right in front of me that I had so far managed not to acknowledge.


"Well, Ms. Swan," I drawled. "I see you are just as witty as when I left your house last night."

Only then did I allow my eyes to land on the man, warning him. I wasn't going anywhere. I might not have known this girl for long but she was already more interesting than anyone else I'd ever meant. I won't be backing down any time soon.


The man didn't meet my challenge. He just raised one eyebrow and if I didn't know any better I'd think he was amused.

"Is that right, Bells?" he smirked.

Bells?



"I'm always witty. Haven't you noticed?"


The tone of her voice drew my eyes back to her. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was giving me her most deadly glare. It was hard to take it too seriously though because the way her arms were positioned folded the banana so it looked like the poor dancing fool was suffocating in breasts. What a way to go!

"I have," I nodded, not scared in the least. She was all bark and no bite... I think. "Are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

I shot the aforementioned friend a little glare out of the corner of my eye. I don't know where this was coming from. I'm pretty sure I had better manors in pre-k but everything was different with Bella. She was mine.


Okay, not exactly mine because she'd only just agreed to a date with me last night. And even then it had taken me weeks of nonstop pestering to get her to agree to that much. But I wouldn't give up until she was.


"Jake, this is Edward Cullen, AKA truck-napper," She introduced dutifully.


That was good news I guess; she'd told him about me at least.

"Edward, this is Jake, my lover."

Her voice dropped on the last word, sounding sultry and sexy. I choked on my own spit before I'd even processed what she had said.

Wait! What had she said? She couldn't have-


She raised one slim eyebrow in a clear challenge.

Yes. Yes she had. Well if I'd wanted to tear the guys arm off before now I wanted to saw it off with a rusty spoon and feed it to him.

The big tanned butt-wipe broke me from my unusually murderous thoughts by busting into obnoxious laughter.

"Awe, Bells, I think you just gave the poor guy a heart attack," he chuckled, pushing himself up from his chair.

Bella shrugged and he patted her head as if she was an amusing if not sometimes annoying little sister.

"Good luck," He said, giving me a pitying look. "She can be quite the little fire cracker."

What is with the people in this town? I hope it's not something in the water. I'd hate to go back to Chicago certifiably nuts.

Then this 'Jake' guy walked off talking about calling someone named Sam.

Bella rolled her eyes but other than that she acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. But then again I guess it wasn't out of the norm for Bella.

I stood there patiently waiting for her to explain what had just happened here because I was almost as confused as I had been the time Jasper mass forwarded a picture of Emmett in drag. He'd bet him that his girlfriends clothes wouldn't fit and you know Emmett's motto, never turn down a bet. They hadn't fit of course and his then girlfriend, Jessica, had been royally pissed. I'd never met the woman but something seemed off with her. I mean, who can maintain their temper with Emmett in a mini?

Anyway I was almost as confused now as I had been when I received that picture, just as everyone else in Jasper's phone book had been, and I kept waiting for Bella's explanation. But it didn't look as if she planned to give me one. She took a casual sip of her coffee and studied her nails.

I finally cleared my throat and she smirked at me from under her lashes.

"You're looking a little confused there, truck-napper." Just by the way she said it you could tell that caused her great joy. "And civil. Civil as an orange and something of that jealous complexion."

I chuckled.

"How many voices are in your head, Swan?"

She shrugged as I took the seat across from her.

"So... what just happened here, DB?" I finally asked. I glanced at the window where I could see Jake standing outside talking on his cell phone. He was laughing as if he were telling the funniest story in all of existence.

Bella snorted.

"You were being all territorial so I used my wit to defuse the situation." She said simply.

I was prepared to argue. That didn't sound like something I'd do. I wasn't territorial. But then I remembered thoughts of cutting off strangers arms and feeding it to them. ...Okay so I wasn't usually territorial.

"Are you sure he knows you were just using him to keep me in my place?" I tried to turn the tables on her.

She laughed.

"First of all, I don't use my friends," she insisted. "And secondly if you keep staring at him his boyfriend is going to get testy."

My head jerked up and my mouth dropped open as everything clicked into place.

Aw, shark farts. Please tell me she hadn't just used her gay friend to make me jealous.

"And Sam's a big guy," She continued seriously, proud of herself. "You do not want Sam mad at you."

This was Bella we were talking about. Of course she had.

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Author's Note: I'm wondering if I should continue this blog because I don't get many comments. Is anyone reading this or should I just post the outtakes on fanfic? Anyway if you are reading it here leave me some feedback? Favorite line/scene? How did you like Edward revelation? 'Aw, shark farts' is taken from tiny fey in 30 rock btw. I got severely distracted while writing this chapter because I was looking at funny movie quotes to use and stumbled upon one of my favorite shows, arrested development. If you haven't seen it I highly suggest it. It's amazingly funny. And if anyone is interested truck-napper has progressed to the voting stage of the giggle/snort awards for best Edward. He thanks everyone that nominated him. (Like his head needs to get any bigger!) Voting starts May 20th if you want to lend your support further. We've also made it to the voting stage for overall. The story is up against some crazy-cool stories so I'm going to need everyones help. :) Yes, I'm shamelessly begging now. Lol
Much Love!

Don't forget to leave ideas for more outtakes that you want to see. I'll try to write them for you

Giggle/Snort Awards

I received an e-mail this morning saying Tales of a Charming Truck-Napper had been nominated for best edward, best bella, and best overall at the giggle/snort awards. That is unbelievably cool. But the thing is only the stories with the most nominations can continue to the voting stage so if you could take two seconds and go to this link (http://gigglesnortawards.mmmboptastic.com/nominate.php) and push the little nominate button that would be crazy cool. Thank you to everyone who nominated this story in the first place! Truck-Napper actually blushed when he heared he'd been nominated for best edward. Bella wasn't too surprised. Lol. Voting starts May 12th so hurry, hurry. Love you all!