Interview with Truck-Napper

Bare with me guys. There were a lot of questions to answer. :) I am the italics and truck-napper is in bold lettering. Enjoy!

Hey, truck-napper. Thanks for taking the time to do this interview.

*Shrugs* No problem. I guess Bella was serious about having to work so I have free time.

Are you saying that you wouldn't have come if Bella wasn't busy?

*Grins apologetically*

You know I could always have Jake decide to switch teams...

*Glares* That's not funny

Wouldn't he and Bella make a cute couple?

My fans would hunt you down.

*Gulps* Very true

*Grins smugly* So wasn't there some questions?

Oh yeah. *Looks for paper with the questions*

*Rolls eyes* the desk in the corner

Here we go! *Clears throat* So our friend Chele the original wants to know, how scared are you of meeting Chief Swan on a scale from one to ten?

*Blanches* Me? I'm- *Clears throat* I'm not scared. Maybe... a one?

*Raises eyebrows* If you're not honest I'm going to rewrite your character with a facial twitch and a very unfortunate stutter. *Snickers* I could make you little Sammy Sprinklers!

*Mumbles something under breath* You are a different breed of evil. *Sigh* Fine, ten being a ravenous man eating hippo that's lost all it's teeth so it has to gum you to death... seven?

*Laughs*

*Frowns* Hey, he has guns. Big guns! And I didn't make the best first impression.

*Tisks* You should have known better, buddy

Next question?

Fine. Krizma wants to know about the tattoos. What and where are they? And you should know she winked when she asked.

How do you know that? Didn't they all type their questions?

Emoticons, Edward. Emoticons. *Rolls eyes* Now stop avoiding the question.

*Sighs* I have the tattoo of my mother's name on the inside of my wrist of course. Then I have the Chinese symbol for family on my left bicep that I got in college. Jasper and I got Cullen tattooed across our upper backs between the shoulder blades when he turned eighteen.

And what was Bella's reaction to those?

*Grins goofily*

Okay then. Rosebud024 has a lot of questions. You ready for this?

*grins* I'm sure I can handle it.

*snickers* Okay then. Do you want anymore tattoos?

What is it with you girls and tattoos?

Aren't I the one asking questions? They're hot okay.

*Rolls eyes* I might be up for another one in the future but I don't want to end up looking like a walking ink shop.

Fair enough. She also wants to know who your favorite card writer is...

Hallmark

Gasp!

*Holds hands up* Kidding. Bella of course! Her boss is insane. Those cards are hilarious!

Aren't they supposed to be CONDOLENCE cards?

*Shrugs*

Alright. Moving right along. Her next question is, have you ever dated a gay man?

What?! Let me see that paper! That's not what she asked.

*Nods, holding paper closer* She did. I'm quoting her words exactly.

*Huffs* I have never and will never date a gay man

*Smirks* Not even Jacob Black?

No gay men! Ever!

What about straight men?

You are not as funny as you think you are, Marie. I will never and have never dated a man. Next. Question.

*Laughs* Don't get testy there, truck-napper. I'm just the messenger. Her next question is, if you never met Bella what kind of girl would you go for? Independent or dependent?

*Scoffs* No contest. Independent. I like doing things for my girl but no guy wants a girl that can't do anything without you. Major turn off.

Good answer. *Grins* Her last question: have you ever pulled off someones S.E.X bracelet?

*Frowns* What?

*Shrugs* The bracelets. They're different colors and if you snap one off...

We didn't have that game when I was in school. What happened to spinning the bottle?

*Shrugs* I have no idea. Is that a no?

I didn't even know what they were...

Okay, here's some more questions. TWIHARDalltheway wants to know why nothing bothers you.

*Sighs* Things bother me sometimes but I try not to over react. When Bella is teasing me for instance. She's just teasing. That's no reason to go mental on her. There's enough of that from her side. *Rolls eyes*

*Laughs* I'm telling! I'm telling!

*Talking over Marie* I guess I just try not to stress the little things.

Good philosophy. I should try that some time. Alrighty, MagentaFunBubble wants to know what you would say to Bella if she said she was getting fat.

*Sits up straighter and rehearses* "You look beautiful, Baby. You always look beautiful."

*Snickers*

That's exactly what I would say. That's also what I say to, "does this dress make me look fat?" and "I think the hair dresser messed up. Does it look okay to you?"

Probably safer

*Nods* But in all honesty I don't love Bella because she's hot. ...it's a plus... But that's not what makes her db.

*Swoons* Did you rehearse these answers in the mirror before you came?

*Grins*

*Shakes head.* Alright, on to some tougher questions...

*Gulps* Tougher?

*Nods* Lauren James wants to know when you first realized you were in love with Bella

*Smiles* I think I started falling for her when she helped me with making Em look gay. *Chuckles* But I knew for sure the night we ate on the roof. That was the first time we got a chance to really talk and it all came together then. I guess that's when I felt like I really knew her. She's fun, and sarcastic, and doesn't take my crap. But there's more to her than that. She almost cried when I was telling her about my mom and then she told me about giving up her dream job to come take care of her dad. She's very compassionate too; she just doesn't like to show it.

You guys are so cute!

*Rolls eyes* Well I wasn't going to say something cheesy like, 'she's everything!'

She is though?

*grins* Of course. It's just cheesy to say.

*Laughs* That brings us to a question from GoLdEnAnGeL80. What are you going to do when it's time for you to go back to Chicago?

*Frowns* I haven't really thought about it. I have to get back to work soon after the wedding and I know I can't ask Bella to leave her life so I'm hoping we'll start a long distance relationship. I plan on calling her five times a day, driving the guys at work nuts with stories about her. Hmm... we'll have to get skype too. Do you think Bella would kill me if I bought one for her before I leave?

*Nods* Probably. But you can suggest she buy one.

I'll just buy her one and put it somewhere she'll find it before I get on the plane. She can't kill me if I'm not there.

You are doubting Bella's skills now. She could hire someone.

*Gulps*

And now that we've got you warmed up we have a question from fcajoymarting. She wants to know and I'm quoting, "When are you going to pop the question for real?"

*Eyes widen* Have you met Bella? Bella Swan? Brown hair, doe eyes, temper of an angry viking?

*Rolls eyes* Yes, we know. She might not be ready for that step right now...

*Shakes head* Probably not. But when she's ready I'll be there. I'd be more than willing to marry her tomorrow.
*Leans closer to Marie conspiratorially*
Hey, you're the writer. Shouldn't you be telling me when Bella will be ready to marry me?

*Grins* All in due time, padawan. All in due time

*Groans*

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Okay so there it is. I hope you guys liked it. The next chapter will probably be up sometime Wednesday. Comment or truck-napper will think you don't love him. His poor self esteem is very fragile. :D Much Love!