EPOV of chapter#16

DISCLAIMER: The plot belongs to me but all things Twilight belong to the lovely Stephenie Meyer.
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"Whatever that is put it out of my misery." Someone grumbled.


I didn't even know what they were talking about. I was having a wonderful dream about being stranded in a strawberry patch with a certain brown haired beauty and I'd just convinced her of a very entertaining way to preserve body heat.

But there was an incessant ringing in my strawberry patch.

"Phone." I grumbled sleepily.


"Well make it stop." Someone muttered. It sounded an awful lot like my brown haired beauty. I needed to get back to her but the ringing continued and so did the ringing in my ears now that I thought of it. God, my head was pounding.

"Ssh." I hissed foolishly- as if I could silence the phone just by asking it nicely. "Sleeping."


And then miracles of miracles the ringing did stop, the phone ringing anyway. My head, unfortunately kept buzzing away.

"Hm, Bella." I mumbled, running my nose along her jawbone in my dream. I imagined her snaky little smirk as she looked at me from heavy lashes. Feisty.

"Edward?" My angel shrieked.

I blinked but the rays of light were coming in too bright. I was still hovering on the edge of sleep.

"Go back to sleep, baby." I soothed, already sinking myself into the oblivion of sleep.

"Wake up!" This time it was a shouted demand and I shot up as it was followed by a very painful smack to the head.

I was fully awake now.

"Jesus, Bella!" I grumbled as the brown eyes I had just been dreaming about stared at me.

These weren't sultry though, they were... furious. What had I done this time? I'd been sleeping!

"Not the way any guy wants their girl to wake them up."

I knew as soon as the words were out that they were not the right ones to say in this moment. She reached back to hit me with her pillow again and I snatched it quickly. Someone wasn't a morning person. I added that to my ever growing list of things I knew about this captivating woman. I thrilled with learning even the smallest of details. She was the most interesting person I knew- and the most violent.

But then something clicked.

"Wait. What are you doing over here?" I asked, not that I was complaining. But I didn't even remember finding my way into bed now that I thought about it. All I remembered was that determined glint in my girls eye as she swore she could and would out drink me. I almost scoffed. She weighed maybe 120 pounds soaking wet. There was no way she had succeeded. But if we had gotten drunk(obviously) and she crawled in with me...

I looked down quickly. I knew there was no way I would have denied this girl anything, especially if I was drunk.

"I'm over here because it's my bed." She huffed as I realized that yes, we were still dressed.

"Why are you over here?"

I frowned. That wasn't right.

"No." I said slowly, shaking my head. "You chose the bed on the left. This is my bed."

Realisation dawned on her indignant face proceeded by horror. I smirked. Now this was an interesting development.

"Well, Ms. Swan," I drawled, leaning back against the headboard. "I'm not sure whether to feel flattered or violated."

I wouldn't mind if she wanted to violate me a little more, I snickered as I thought back to my dream.

"Shut up!" She hissed, smacking my arm as if she could hear my thoughts. "We have bigger problems to deal with here."

She gulped as she looked at me and I frowned, confused. What was going on here? Bella looked... scared? I instantly felt protective.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, beginning to feel panicked. My Bella never looked scared. DB was devious and beautiful- she was never scared. At least I'd never seen it before. "Bella? What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath as if preparing and then lifted her left hand without a word. Of course I had to fall in love with not only the most gorgeous and feisty woman I'd ever met, but also the most confusing. But then something on her finer caught the sun from the window and all the air left my lungs with a single expletive.

I'd never been one for cursing. My mother, and my aunt Esme for that matter, would have washed my mouth out with soap. But it seemed strangely appropriate in this moment.

Well, I hadn't been expecting that! A ring that matched her own, a single band of silver, ran along my own ring finger and I gulped. She was going to kill me this time.

"My sentiments exactly." She nodded and I couldn't help but think she was agreeing with my thoughts more than my words.

She really was going to kill me. She had made a habit of threatening over the weeks that we'd known each other but it never really bothered me. It was more a form of endearment really. But this time she really was going to kill me.

"Tequila!" She groaned, slapping her forehead. "Ouch!"

I was about to ask if she was okay but then she was off and running through a rant that left her breathless and me dazed. I didn't even understand most of what she was saying she was speaking so quickly. I caught something about evil trolls, and Rosalie being a witch, and her getting a tattoo but I was still too stunned to crack a joke about her fairytale land vocabulary or ever ask where she was planning to get said tattoo.

"We're..." I gulped, trying to process. "Married?"

"You buffoon." She grumbled and I looked down, surprised to see her sprawled across the bed on her back, rubbing her temples as if my stupidity actually pained her. And I'm not denying the stupidity thing because clearly I was about as stupid as you can get without needing to actually be institutionalized. "I'm married to a buffoon."

Married? I hadn't really had time to think of whether I wanted to marry Bella or not in the weeks that I had known her because I had been using so much time just trying to get her to admit that she didn't hate me. But the thought had crossed my mind that I wanted her forever.

She was beautiful, and sexy, and she didn't let me get away with anything. She matched every one of my remarks or pranks with one of her own and sometimes she even beat me. I don't know why that was such a turn on but it most definitely was. I'd spent my entire life being fawned over by woman who were nothing but brainless bimbos who would agree with any little nonsensical thing I sprouted off with. I know it sounds cocky and Bella would probably make me pay for it if she'd heard me but it was true. It was more than refreshing to be able to tease someone that could take it and give it right back. She was smart, and witty, and fun. She was perfect. As soon as I'd seen her fiery glare as she demanded I give her keys back I'd been hooked.

But all I got out was, "Married?"

She growled.

"You say that one more time, Edward, and I swear to God I will strangle you with my bare hands."

See what I mean? It's an endearment really.

"Are you sure you're not just trying to get my life insurance policy, Mrs. Cullen?" I grinned, knowing that she was about to lose it.

She lunged before I had time to brace myself and we both went flying onto the bed. She pounded on me with her little fists for a while as she gave me what for. I loved a girl with fire.

"We're married." She screeched, although it didn't escape my notice that I'd just gotten in trouble for bringing this up. "Married! Do you know what this means?"

"I think so." I said slowly, her fists still flailing. "But I'm not going to say it." I formed manacles around her tiny wrists with my hands, stopping her on slot and gave her a small smile, hoping to soften her up a little bit. "I wouldn't want you to strangle me with your bare hands."

She sighed, laying her head on my chest as if she was just too tired to hold it up anymore and I stroked her hair. I had really done it this time. Because if we woke up married in Vegas I knew who had suggested it and it most definitely wasn't Bella. I can't believe I was so stupid, even if I was drunk. I had wanted to take this slow and just enjoy being with her. I had even been wearing down her resolve little by little- I could tell in the way that she welcomed my hand in hers and sent smiles my way when she thought no one was watching. I could also tell in the way that she sent that hotel receptionist glares when she thought she had been staring for too long although I'm pretty sure she was actually looking at Emmett. I wasn't going to correct her. I loved a jealous Bella and I hoped I got to see a lot more of her in the future- she was hot. But now we were married and she was going to feel rushed, she'd demand we get it annulled. I could almost see the panicked, caged animal, look in her face.

"What are we going to do?" She sighed.

She definitely sounded miserable. She didn't want to be married. Of course she didn't! What girl wants to be married to someone they've known for so little a time?

I sighed.

"Just remember when we're figuring out alimony I am a poor man."

She let out a tired chuckle and propped herself in her hands on my chest. She looked like she belonged there. I wish she'd never move.

"Aren't you going to freak out even a little?" she asked, looking genuinely curious.

"I was considering it." I admitted although it was for a different reason than she was thinking. I'd already realized I was in love with her and I wouldn't mind keeping her with me for the rest of my life but I had also realized that anything like that was going to take time with Bella. It had taken almost every waking hour for weeks to get her to agree to date me. Anything that happened this fast would surely freak her out and chase her away.

"But I decided to get you through your melt down first." I continued truthfully.

She surprised me then by kissing me softly.

"Thank you for thinking of me." She whispered. "I'm sorry I'm being such high maintenance."

"I like you anyway." I teased, grinning against her lips.

"What?" She smirked, pulling back. "No love?"

She frowned abruptly as she thought and I cringed, knowing she was probably remembering something and hoping it wasn't anything to ruin her playful mood.

"You love me!" She screeched.

I paled. How did she know that?

"What?" I choked.

She pointed at me accusingly.

"You love me." She repeated. "You love me like Alice loves Jasymine."

I frowned.

"Who is Jasmine?" I asked, hoping to distract her from the fact that yes- I did love her. She chuckled, telling me I'd mispronounced the name and I said that Jasper was going to kill him. No one messed with Alice.

"Jasper is Jazymine." she chuckled and something about that reminded me. I don't know if it's the giggly voice she used as she said the name or just someone up there decided to cut me a break but suddenly I knew what she was talking about. I remembered the muddled conversation we'd had after, yes- I'd beaten her at the drinking challenge. I smoothed my expression with the joy that I had admitted my love and that she'd said it back. Actually she'd said it first!

"Well, there's one less murder we have to worry about."

"What other murders are we worried about?" She asked. I almost laughed. She sounded suspicious as if I was going to confess to some horrible crime. I thought for half a second about fabricating some far fetched story about a brother I used to have. I warned him time and again Bella not to touch my CD collection but he just wouldn't leave it alone. What was I supposed to do?

But knowing her she'd probably think I was serious and turn me in.

"You're not going to kill me?" I asked in stead.

"Was it your idea?" She asked after thinking.

I shrugged, might as well be honest.

"I don't know." I said honestly but it didn't sound like anything she'd suggest. I mean I had gone so far as to tease her about it the other day. It had to have been my idea.

We lay there in peaceable silence for a change and I ran my fingers through her hair. I loved her.

I had already come to this conclusion a while ago, around the time she helped with my prank against Emmett actually. But it was still a stunning thought. I was holding the woman I loved in my arms and I wasn't going to let go. Somehow I would convince her not to run. I'd convince her to give us a chance and then I'd convince her that we belonged despite the arguments, and the bickering, the pro/con lists, Oliver Twist and all of our other disagreements. We belonged together.